samen - 6

The New Life that began was at the Farm called “Torre Disperata”. 

One day, while more than ever I had been tormented by the devil, to the point that I felt myself losing my strengths and fainting, around evening, while I was in this state, I felt I was having a deadly fit [aanval] and I lost consciousness.

In that state, I saw Jesus Christ surrounded by many enemies—some were beating Him, some were slapping Him, some were driving thorns into His head, some were breaking His legs, some His arms. After they reduced Him almost to pieces, they put Him in the arms of the Madonna—and this happened not too far from me. 

After the Most Holy Virgin took Him in Her arms... 

She drew near me, and crying, She said to me: “Daughter, see how My Son is treated by men—the horrible offenses they commit, which never give Him respite. Look at Him, how He suffers.” 

And I tried to look at Him, and I saw Him all blood, all wounds, and almost cut up, reduced to a mortal state. I felt such pains that I would have wanted to die a thousand times rather than see my Lord suffer so much. I felt ashamed of my little sufferings. 

The Most Holy Virgin added, but always crying: 

“Come closer to kiss the wounds of My Son. He chooses you as victim, and if many offend Him, you, by offering yourself to suffer what He suffers, will give Him a relief in so much suffering. Won’t you accept?” 

I felt so annihilated. I saw myself so bad (as I am still) and unworthy, that I did not dare to say “yes”. My nature trembled. I felt so weak from the past pains, that it barely left me a thread of life. 

Then, I don’t know how, I saw demons yelling and shouting from afar, and that everything I had seen them do to the Lord, they were going to do to me, if I accepted. 

I felt such pains, sufferings, straining of nerves within me... 

that I thought I was going to leave life.

~bron~