piccarreta ०

I begin. 

A Novena of Holy Christmas. 

At the age of about seventeen, I prepared myself for the Feast of Holy Christmas, by practicing various acts of virtues and mortification, and especially, by honoring the nine months which Jesus spent in the Maternal Womb with nine hours of meditation each day, always concerning the Mystery of the Incarnation.

As for example, in one hour, with my thought, I brought myself to Paradise, and I imagined the Most Holy Trinity: the Father, sending the Son upon earth - the Son, promptly obeying the Will of the Father - the Holy Spirit, consenting. 

My mind was confounded in contemplating a Mystery so great, a Love so reciprocal, so equal, so strong among Themselves and toward men. And then, the ingratitude of men, and especially my own.

I would have remained there, not for one hour, but for the whole day; but an interior voice told me: “Enough, come and see other greater excesses of My Love.”

-

Then, my mind brought itself into the Maternal Womb. And remained stupefied in considering a God so Great in Heaven, now so annihilated, restricted, constrained, as to be unable to move, and almost even to breathe. 

The interior voice told me: “Do you see how much I have Loved you? O please! make Me a little space in your heart. Remove everything which is not Mine. So you will give Me more freedom to move and to breathe.” 

-

My Heart was consumed. 

I asked for His forgiveness, I promised to be completely His own, I poured myself out in crying. But - I say this to my bewilderment [verbijstering] - I would go back to my usual defects [gebreken]. O! Jesus, how good You have been with this miserable creature!

In this way... 

I would spend the second hour of the day... 

and then, so forth with the rest. It would be annoying, if I told them all. 

And I would do this sometimes kneeling, and when I was impeded [gehinderd] by my family, also while working. In fact, the interior voice gave me no respite and no peace, if I did not do what it wanted. Therefore, work was not an impediment for me to doing what I had to do. 

In this way, I spent the days of the Novena. 

-

And when the Eve came... 

I felt more than ever ignited with unusual fervor. 

I was alone in the room, and here comes Little Baby Jesus in front of me - all beautiful, yes, but shivering [rillend], in the act of wanting to hug me. I stood up and ran to hug Him, but in the act of squeezing Him, He disappeared from me - and this occurred as many as three times. 

I remained so moved and ignited, that I cannot explain it. 

But then, after some time... 

I did not take it much into account. 

I did not tell anyone, and from time to time, I would fall into my usual defects. However, the interior voice never left me again. In everything, it reprimanded me, it corrected me, it encouraged me.

In a word, the Lord acted with me like a good father, whose child tries to deviate from the right path. And he uses all the attentions and cares to hold him back, so as to make of him his honor, his glory, his crown.

But, O! Lord... 

too ungrateful have I been with You.

~bron~