samen - 2

As for the visits and acts of reparation, You Must Know that everything I did in the course of thirty-three years, from when I was born, up to when I died, I AM continuing in the Sacrament of the Altar. 

Therefore, I want you to visit Me thirty-three times a day, honoring My years and also uniting with Me in the Sacrament, with My own Intentions—that is, Reparation, Adoration... 

This you will do at all times: with the first thought of the morning, fly immediately before the Tabernacle in which I AM present for Love of you, and visit Me.

With the last thought of the evening, while you sleep at night, before and after your meal, at the beginning of each one of your actions, while walking, working...”

-

While He was saying this to me, I saw myself all confused.

Not knowing whether I could manage to do them, I said to Him: “Lord, I pray You to be with me until I acquire the habit of doing them, for I know that with You I can do everything—but without You, what can I, miserable one, do?”

And He, benignly [goedaardig], added: “Yes, yes, I will content you—when have I ever failed you? I want your Goodwill, for whatever help you want, I will give to you.” 

And so He did.

After I had spent some time - now with Him, and now without - one day, after Communion, I felt more intimately united to Him. 

He asked me various questions, as for example: if I loved Him, if I was ready to do what He wanted, even the sacrifice of my life for love of Him. He also said to me: “And you—tell Me what you want. If you are ready to do what I want, I too will do what you want.” 

I saw myself all confused. I could not understand that way of operating of His. But with time I understood, that that way of acting is when He wants to dispose the soul to new and heavy Crosses. And He knows how to draw her so close to Himself with those stratagems [listen], that the soul does not dare to oppose what He wants.

So I said to Him: 

“Yes, I love You. But You tell me, Yourself—can I find anything more Beautiful, more Holy, more Lovable than You? And then, why ask me if I am ready to do what You want, when it has been so long since I delivered my will to You, and I prayed You not to spare me even tearing me to pieces, as long as I may give You pleasure? I abandon myself in You, O Holy Spouse—operate freely, do with me whatever You want, give me Your Grace, for by myself I am nothing and can do nothing.”

And He repeated to me: “Are you truly ready for anything I want?”

I saw myself more confused, annihilated, and I said: 

“Yes, I am ready”—but almost trembling.

~bron~